Dive 104: A good mentor is not a chauffeur
Hey, it’s Alvin!
I have heard on multiple occasions from software developers that a lot of code “out there” is garbage.
Well, yes.
And fire is hot. I know because I’ve been making software professionally for over a decade. I’ve seen flaming hot piles of fecal code below the surface of the prettiest user interfaces. And it’s not always intentional.
All software developers learn on the job. There’s no other way. Because each software is tailored for specific combinations of use cases, people, and tech stacks unique to each situation. And that’s not all…
New software tools, languages, frameworks, methodologies, and design patterns come out all the time. And we’re expected to stay on top of all these new developments. So, a good software developer is a perpetual beginner. And beginners rarely produce the most polished products.
We make mistakes.
Even with AI.
Only those with high standards learn from those mistakes. So, the next iteration or product can be better. Though always flawed. To err is human.
If we’re lucky, we’ll have a mentor who’s willing and able to review our work before it’s deployed. But the quality of the review depends on the quality of the reviewer. Of course, what makes a good reviewer isn’t just how well the reviewer gives feedback. It depends on their mentorship skills, too.
So, what does good mentorship look like? How does good mentorship boost the skills of the protégé?
The Driving Instructor
Whenever I was stuck on a software problem, the best mentors I had sat down next to me and worked through it with me. They wouldn’t solve my problems for me. But they wouldn’t just throw me into the ocean so I can “figure out” how to swim either.
I’d always bounce ideas around with my mentors to identify the best solution we could think of. When it was time to code the solution, my mentor might sit down next to me to give me pointers. But no matter what, I was the “driver.”
My mentor might make suggestions. But the final decision on the approach was mine. If I made a mistake, I owned it, I fixed it, and learned from it so it wouldn’t happen again.
So, this is the approach I take with my protégés, too.
I noticed that my faith in my protégés grew as I watched them learn and grow. Because once my protégé showed that they’re responsible for their mistakes—that they can fix them, learn from them and grow—then I can be confident they’ll be able to do it again and again.
I can let them be. Independent. Autonomous.
What saddens me is that this is not what I see in much of modern society. Especially on the internet.
The Chauffeur
When I see big tech companies and governments scrambling to ban or censor “misinformation” and “disinformation” on the internet, I see chauffeurs.
Handholding.
I see authority figures who don’t trust the public’s ability to distinguish between truths and lies.
I’ll even give them the benefit of the doubt.
Let’s assume those authorities are not malicious. They say it’s “for our safety.” But overprotectiveness isn’t better.
These measures are just extensions of “helicopter parenting.” Then, eventually, “snowplow parenting.” For those unfamiliar, a snowplow parent is a parent who actively removes obstacles for their children, intending to maximize their kids’ happiness and success. Like how a snowplow carves a path by pushing snow aside.
The main criticism of snowplow parenting is that because the parents keep taking their kids’ responsibilities, their kids never learn life skills critical to their independence when they reach adulthood.
Big tech companies and today’s governments are just the snowplow parents of modern citizens. “Banning misinformation” is just another way for them to say that they don’t trust you. They don’t think you’re smart enough or grown up enough to think critically. So, they’re thinking for you. They have no faith in you.
I don’t care for any authority that looks down on me like that. And neither should you. So, what can we do?
The Faithful
Citizens make up big tech companies.
Citizens make up the government.
If they don’t have faith in us, one could say that we don’t have faith in ourselves. How do we restore faith in ourselves?
How do we restore faith in humanity?
It helps to remember that our species survived for millennia because we’re adaptable. Think of all the harsh climates we can survive in. From the dryest deserts to the permafrost poles.
We’re resilient.
I remember when I was a kid; I had a friend who practiced taekwondo. He was talking about how cool it would be to one day be able to punch through a cinder block with a bare fist. I asked him, “wouldn’t that break your bones?” But he explained it would strengthen the bones in his hand instead. Of course, it takes proper training, so I still don’t recommend it for just anybody. But it opened my eyes to how resilient we can be.
We’re not invincible. But we’re tough.
And we can only grow resilience by conquering challenges. Like fixing problems we created from mistakes we made. We can only address those mistakes if we’re allowed to make them. And we only let each other make mistakes when we have faith in one another. Faith in one another’s abilities to learn, grow, and adapt.
An authority that stops you from making too many mistakes increases your dependence on them. They don’t think you’re responsible, so they become responsible for you.
But remember: freedom and responsibility go hand in hand.
Less personal responsibility means less personal freedom.
The only way to reclaim freedom is to reclaim responsibility. It means saying, “let me make mistakes. I will make them. But I will own them. I will fix them.”
And as we watch our brothers and sisters learn and grow, we’ll see our faith in humanity grow, too.
Let’s strive for freedom.
What do you say?
Reply to belowthesurfacetop@gmail.com or click “Message Alvin” below if you have questions or comments. I’d love the hear from you.
I wrote more on how the greatest leaders elevate those around them in Dive 57 below. Be sure to check it out:
Thank you for reading. Strive for freedom. And I’ll see you in the next one.
Many governments are like the “chauffeur” of the sheep truck taking the sheep from the open range to the pen, but I agree with you 100%, it’s up to us to accept responsibility and insist on our own freedom.