Dive 119: What It Really Takes to Bring a Dream to Life
Why some achieve their dreams while others don't
Hey, it’s Alvin!
Would you like to turn your dreams into reality?
Everyone says they want to. But there is a distinction between those whose dreams stay a fantasy and those who actualize their dreams.
The former are dreamers. The latter are doers.
The dreamer frames their dream like a painting. The dream is something to admire and preserve. By everyone. Criticisms are not welcome. They ruin the dream.
The doer holds their dream like a compass. The dream is a tool to navigate the uncertain path ahead. The doer welcomes questions, skepticism, and criticisms of their dream because they help clear the obstacles towards actualizing it. Time, money, energy, and other resource constraints may all be obstacles. It doesn’t matter. The doer is willing to pay the price to clear all of them. But here’s the catch:
There are too many salespeople who sell dreams but are not forthcoming or honest about the obstacles ahead. They too are obstacles to actualizing a dream. Here’s what I mean and what to look out for.
The Doer’s Perspective
I recently got to work abroad for about a month.
A friend offered me to stay in a one-room condominium overlooking Belcher Bay, Hong Kong, beyond the hustling and bustling city center.
I could watch the sun rise and set over the harbour backdropped by distant mountains bringing memories of Bob Ross as the gentle ocean breeze rhythmically brushes my cheeks.
Dreamy.
On the surface.
Remember when I said I was working abroad?
I work as a software developer. In front of a computer. At a desk. Inside. Yes, the view out my window was breathtaking. But while I was working, it was just that. A view. A view to a world I could not access. This is a mental part of “working wherever you want” that proponents of that lifestyle never talk about.
Sure, I could explore a new place outside office hours. But during work hours, there’s this pain of being unable to go out and bask in the fresh air, sunshine, and whatever other adventure beckons out there.
When social media influencers post about being able to work anywhere, they never talk as much about the working part.
They’ll post a pretty, possibly photoshopped picture of their setup. A laptop, often a Mac, sitting on one of those short poolside tables. Maybe there’s a beach chair in front of the table, all next to a swimming pool and palm trees in the background, suggesting a tropical island on a clear, sunny day.
Dreamers don’t bother asking questions. Not just because they have no questions, but because the answers might destroy the illusion. But I like finding out how magic tricks work. And I want to know what I’m being sold.
What’s it like when it rains?
Is the beach chair comfortable to sit on? Or work from?
How do you read anything on your computer screen with the glare of the sun overhead reflecting off the deck?
The occasional warm breeze is nice. What about the pool odours carried along that breeze? What about the sights, sounds, and smells of sweaty people dripping pool water all over the deck?
Or is this an isolated pool? A daily reminder that you’re all alone in a place where others hold parties. How much does such a place cost?
Look, if you want to achieve a dream, you’ll want to know its price sooner than later.
But often, you’re not told the price.
Some people are so caught up trying to sell a dream, they’ll dodge, delay, and deflect from talking about downsides as much as possible. And that’s a disservice to everyone. Including the seller.
But if you want to actualize a dream, you might need information from those selling it. So, you’ll want a way to determine the trustworthiness of the seller…
The Seller’s Perspective
One thing I learned solving problems for customers is that if you don’t understand and address your customers’ concerns, they won’t want to work with you. Because why else would they be in business with you in the first place? If you want to profit long-term, you have to provide value long-term. That only works if you can address your customer’s current concerns first. And this lesson is just as valuable for us as customers. Or potential customers.
If a seller can’t or won’t directly answer your questions, there are only two reasons why. Either they can’t tell you or they won’t tell you.
If they can’t answer you, it could be because they don’t know the answer. But if they deflect because they don’t know, it shows they’re more interested in keeping up appearances than helping you.
If they won’t answer you, it’s because they feel the answer undermines the sale.
Either way, their credibility becomes questionable because it shows they’re more interested in helping themselves before you.
Quality questions let you gauge a seller’s lack of credibility. How many times do they dodge a tough question? The more times they dodge, the less credible they are.
If a customer reaches out with a problem, it’s up to me to understand it well to find the best solution for it. If the customer has concerns about the solution, it’s up to me to explain the impact. And if I don’t know enough to address the customer’s concerns, it’s up to me to find out for them.
Every solution has its pros and cons. There’s no point in hiding the drawbacks if you respect your customer’s intelligence. Deflecting dissent undermines credibility and the sale. Salespeople who know this have been trying other ways of padding their credibility. For example, expressing their personal imperfections and vulnerabilities. But that misses the point.
A seller who fails to mention a challenge of attaining a dream undermines the doer’s ability to achieve it. Because the doer will face the challenge eventually but is denied the chance to get ahead of it.
The Customer’s Perspective
As a consumer, I look for one thing in a salesperson to gauge their credibility:
Does the salesperson say anything that undermines their sales position?
Do they mention any costs or drawbacks of what they’re selling?
Smart salespeople offer products with offsetting pros and cons. So, even if one product isn’t suitable for a customer, another one might be.
I know people who like selling in-person courses only. Personally, if I sold courses, I would sell in-person and self-driven courses. In-person courses offer interactions absent from self-driven ones. But not everyone has time to attend classes at certain times. If I sold both, I wouldn’t be afraid to say that an in-person class just isn’t for you if you want to learn at your own pace. I’d undermine my sales position for the in-person course, but I could sell the self-driven one.
Is your dream a painting or a compass?
As a savvy consumer, you want to know the price of a dream if you want to actualize it. Because you have to be willing to pay its price. All of it. If the salesperson won’t disclose the price of the dream they’re selling, then they’re getting in the way of your dream.
It’s possible the salesperson isn’t aware of a particular cost. They’ll be blindsided by it. But that doesn’t mean you have to be.
That’s why if you want to actualize your dream, you want to work with someone who will be honest and truthful with you. Especially with the challenges of pursuing the dream.
The dreamer frames their dream like a painting. The dream is something to admire and preserve. By everyone. Criticisms are not welcome. They ruin the dream.
The doer holds their dream like a compass. The dream is a tool to navigate the uncertain path ahead. The doer knows every dream has a price and will pay it. Even though the real-world achievement may not be an exact match of what the doer initially dreamt of. But the doer is ok with that. With an open mind, the achievement may be even better than the doer initially dreamt.
So, is your dream a painting or a compass?
Reply to belowthesurfacetop@gmail.com if you have questions or comments. I’d love the hear from you.
There’s an additional distinction between a dream and a fantasy in Dive 68. Be sure to check it out:
Thank you for reading. Let your dream be your compass. And I’ll see you in the next one.