Hey, it’s Alvin!
When I was in junior high, I was an ‘A’ student. Everything came easily to me. I couldn’t understand why other students struggled so much. Just do your homework, study for tests, follow the instructions, and you’ll get an ‘A’. Easy, right?
Failure wasn’t an option. But neither was anything less than an ‘A’. I was an ‘A’ student, and that’s how I saw myself. And I had to find every edge to get straight A-pluses. Perfection.
My pursuit of perfection fell apart in my first year of university.
I struggled to keep up with the material despite studying non-stop. If I wasn’t sleeping, I was studying. Eventually, mental and physical exhaustion set in, which made it harder for me to learn new material. I burnt out.
By the end of my first year, I failed three courses.
And I finished the year with a 1.60 GPA. That’s 1.60 out of 4.00, which put me in the category of a ‘D’ student. I was also placed on academic probation. That meant if I continued to perform poorly, I’d be expelled from university.
My mind kind of broke. Whatever illusion I had, that I was a “smart” guy, shattered. My confidence went from 100 to 0. Everything that seemed so easy now seemed insurmountable. My whole world was flipped upside down.
I couldn’t see myself graduating from engineering. I wanted out. But my loved ones implored me to stay - to try to make it work. So, I compromised and switched engineering disciplines. I also adopted a more casual attitude toward academia. If I succeeded, hooray! If I still failed, I’d have an excuse to pursue something else. Maybe I’d find something far more suitable for me. I had nothing to lose. I’d win no matter what.
Lesson 1: You can only go up from the bottom.
This is a liberating mindset. It meant I was willing to try almost anything to see what worked and what didn’t in elevating my grades.
That’s something I wouldn’t do as an ‘A’ student for whom a ‘B’ was unacceptable. I tried nothing too dramatic because it meant risking lower grades. So, I often stuck to the status quo. In hindsight, my failures in university were partly caused by me sticking to high school study habits that didn’t work well in a new environment.
After my failures, I considered the importance of rest, so I scheduled time to unwind. I still got all the required work done on time. And if I couldn’t get to the optional stuff, so be it.
For the first time in academia, I also felt like I needed to work hard to understand the material. Learning took effort. Sometimes it was a grind. And sometimes, this is what talented people don’t get…
Lesson 2: What’s easy for you may be hard for others.
So, those who are talented think: “just do X, Y, and Z. I do those things, and I’m successful, so if you do the same things, you’ll be successful too.”
There are those on Twitter who have told me that if I just post a single tweet once a day, a thread once a week, and reply to 5 people a day, I’ll get to 10,000 followers in no time.
I’m still waiting for that to happen.
And I’m not suggesting it can’t work. Just like, I’m sure doing your homework, studying for tests, and following instructions can help you academically. But advice like this is distilled. You’re usually not getting the full picture of what led to someone’s success because they’re probably also blind to those causes.
Those who have large followings on social media don’t just follow a routine. They make themselves attractive; they talk about topics that draw audiences, and oftentimes, they start with an audience they curated from another platform.
Lesson 3: Success is never just a result of what you see, but also what you don’t see.
Similarly, success can look different to different people.
For an ‘A’ student, a ‘D’ or ‘C’ is nightmarish. Celebrating a ‘C’? Absurd.
But, for a ‘D’ student, an ‘A’ seems so far away, it can seem insurmountable.
A ‘D’ student is struggling to survive academia. For them, getting a ‘C’ means they survived, which is joyful. AND it means they improved, which is why it’s worth celebrating.
The view at the top is so different from the view at the bottom.
So, if you’re a mentor to someone who’s working hard at getting better, recognize those small improvements because they matter to them more than you might think.
Lesson 4: Celebrate small wins.
I worked super hard for the rest of my university years, and I started seeing more C’s, then B’s, and yes, even A’s.
I did so well; the university cleared my student record of academic probation during my junior year—that was my second happiest moment in university.
My happiest moment?
The day I graduated from engineering.
BONUS: Azula vs. Zuko
Spoilers ahead. For those familiar with Avatar: The Last Airbender, the TV series—it’s one of my all-time favourite shows. And the dynamic between Azula and her brother, Zuko, can be seen as an ‘A’ student vs. a ‘F’ student. Zuko explains it best:
You’re like my sister. Everything always came easy to her. She’s a firebending prodigy, and everyone adores her. My father says she was born lucky. He says I was lucky to be born. I don’t need luck, though. I don’t want it. I’ve always had to struggle and fight and that’s made me strong. It’s made me who I am.
I feel for both of them, but I sympathize with Azula in ways most people probably don’t. She was knowledgeable, observant, and confident in her people skills. Maybe too confident. She spent her entire life relying on controlling people with fear. Then, her closest friends betrayed her. That’s when her inner world began to fall apart.
But like an ‘A’ student, Azula refused to back down from her false beliefs. Azula operated the only way she knew how; the only way she thought was reliable. After all, she didn’t want to lose everything. She was about to be crowned fire lord, and she still believed:
Trust is for fools. Fear is the only reliable way.
And when she lost the final battle to her brother, Zuko—that moment was palpable. Bound by chains to a grate on the floor, we see Azula wailing in agony as tears streamed down her face. Because at that moment, she didn’t just lose the battle to someone “lucky to be born.” She lost her crown, her friends, and, most importantly, her identity. Whatever illusions Azula had of being a prodigy who could control everything with fear were shattered that moment. It broke her. And it hurts to watch.
I hope you enjoyed this dive Below the Surface on talent. Reply to belowthesurface@substack.com if you have questions or comments. Let me know of similar experiences you had with talent or with someone who was talented. I’d love to hear from you.
Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful day. And I’ll see you in the next one.
This reminds me so much of my own journey. Top 10 in my high school graduating class. C+ average outta college. Wild how much our thoughts shape our reality. Ty for sharing this 🙂