Dive 19: Why clinging to safety stifles growth

Take flight. Grow.

Hey, it’s Alvin!

One day, when I was a kid, I went ice skating with some friends.

I didn’t know how to skate, though.

The moment I stepped onto the ice; I couldn’t even maintain my balance. So, I clung to the wall of the skating rink, and tried to make some kind of forward progress.

I still remember a friend saying, “you have to go to the middle of the rink!”

The middle of the rink? Are you crazy? I could barely stand!

He wasn’t wrong, though. It’s hard to push off your skate to move forward being that close to the wall. And as you gain speed, being so close to the wall makes it dangerous, especially for a beginner who hasn’t learned how to stop.

As a beginner, staying close to the wall felt safe. But proper learning requires moving away from that instrument of safety, or what some call, “a comfort zone.”

It’s the same when I learned how to swim.

Not knowing how to swim, I initially clung to the wall—the side of the pool—for dear life. Which made sense. If I didn’t, I would drown. It’s worth noting I had a certified swimming instructor who was constantly monitoring me and was within reach.

The first lessons?

Holding my breath underwater. Then, floating face-up and face-down in the water in the middle of the pool, away from walls. The idea was to teach me the fundamentals of how to avoid drowning without relying on walls to do so.

Of course, swimming isn’t just floating and gliding. Eventually, I was introduced to arm and leg movements to propel me forward. My limbs needed space for movement, which meant moving further from the wall. Sometimes I would misjudge my distance from a wall I was swimming towards and bash my head against it. It’s harder to spot the wall “behind” you in back crawl. So, yeah, walls are still dangerous underwater.

Sometimes “the wall” is metaphorical.

Whenever we learn something new, there’s always a place of safety and security we wish to remain. There’s always a wall we wish to cling to; a comfort zone we wish to stay in. But while we do, we can’t learn. We can’t grow.

As a software developer, I was asked how to get started with coding.

• What videos should I watch?

• What books should I read?

• What podcasts should I listen to?

My answer? Just start building something.

Coding (i.e., programming, software development, etc.) is a skill. And the only way to improve a skill is deliberate practice. The only way to get better at coding is to code.

So, once you have something you want to build, break it down into smaller tasks, then figure out how to code it. That last part determines which videos you need to watch, and what blogs or books you need to read.

Some people start with tutorial videos. The problem is they’ll watch tutorial after tutorial after tutorial… stuck in perpetual “tutorial hell.” At least, that’s the popular term for the phenomenon, but there’s a feeling of comfort and safety that keeps students in tutorial hell. Because there’s no risk to watching videos, reading books, or listening to podcasts. You can’t fail at watching a video. And you can’t fail at coding if you’re not coding.

Sometimes, students are afraid of looking foolish. They’re hoping that by watching more tutorials, they can minimize mistakes. So, they look less like beginners. In fact, people at all skill levels make mistakes. Part of being a senior developer for me is to own and learn from my mistakes, as I described in a separate thread. Besides, there’s no better time to look like a fool than at the beginning of a learning process, as I explored in Dive 10.

Often, students are waiting for a feeling of readiness. Or they’re waiting for the feeling of unreadiness to subside before they let go of the wall. There’s this misconception that gaining “enough” knowledge can make you feel you’re ready to tackle a project. But over the years, I learned that the feeling of unreadiness is not because of a lack of knowledge, but a lack of experience.

• If I don’t feel ready to skate, it’s because I haven’t skated enough.

• If I don’t feel ready to swim, it’s because I haven’t swum enough.

• If I don’t feel ready to code, it’s because I haven’t coded enough.

No amount of video tutorials can give you that experience. Only practice can.

Or, as Miss Frizzle from the Magic School Bus says,

“It’s time to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!”

I hope you enjoyed this dive Below the Surface of safety in relation to growth. Reply to belowthesurface@substack.com if you have questions or comments. How do you reach out of your comfort zone to grow? Let me know what you think. I’d love to hear from you.

Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful day. And I’ll see you in the next one.