Dive 71: Shame the player and the game

A fire cannot exist if one of its 4 key elements doesn't exist.

Hey, it’s Alvin!

One thing I learned about great leadership in over a decade of software development is that the greatest leaders push to do what’s right. Especially when it’s hard.

Software developers are often under the gun to deliver features and fixes fast. But the proper solution to a problem sometimes takes more time than we’re given. That’s when great leaders take one of two actions:

1. Push for more time to get it done right.

2. Cut corners to meet the tight deadline AND push to patch the cut corners ASAP.

For example, I worked on a project where our team spent a ton of time debugging why data was out-of-sync between two systems. I found it was partly because our error logs were unclear. That made it hard to find and understand the root causes of synchronization problems.

So, I pushed to make our error messages clearer even though that wasn’t part of the original project plan. I explained to the technical leader and product manager that doing so would save us time going forward.

I could’ve just ignored the issue. Fixing error messages isn’t exactly fun work. But it would help us in the long run. The tech lead and PM agreed. And in the end, we salvaged precious time we needed for feature development later on. But obviously, standing up for what’s right isn’t unique to software development.

So, let’s look at lewd behaviour on the internet and what it means to stand up for what’s right.

Twitch: an openly seedy red-light district of the internet

For those who don’t know, Twitch is a platform where people livestream (i.e. broadcast) themselves playing video games. Or that was the initial intent and what it’s still superficially known for today. Though recently, there have been more and more people (mostly women) dressing provocatively on camera. Often, “just chatting.”

In recent weeks, a young woman broadcast herself almost entirely nude. She even had two cameras set up. One faced her front where she could be seen wearing nothing but a bikini. While another camera pointed from behind her, directly at her bottom where a thin strip of fabric just barely covered her nether regions.

I’m not here to focus on Twitch or any individual. It’s the response to this spectacle that raises alarm bells:

“Don’t hate the player. Hate the game.”

That’s the phrase I’ll often encounter when anyone does something unsavoury. Like when people (mostly men) dump milk on themselves in grocery stores. These aren’t the only contexts where I’ve heard this response. But it’s an excuse that’s illogical, deceptive, and cowardly.

It’s illogical.

It’s illogical to hate the game and not the player. Especially when people play the game voluntarily. The game only exists because there are people playing it. So, it makes no sense to hate the game, but not the players who keep it alive. That’s another thing…

It’s deceptive.

If the game is hate-worthy, then why not end it? How do you end a game? Stop people from playing it. And what if there are no rules or laws that prevent people from playing the game? Our ancestors had a solution:

Shame.

In the past, those who did immoral or unethical acts were shamed, which deterred others from doing the same. This is where “don’t hate the player; hate the game” is deceptive. Because it’s more about shame than hate.

If you see someone drop their wallet, you have a choice. You can return it or you can keep it. Most people with a well-calibrated moral compass would find a way to return it intact. Part of it is because it’s just the right thing to do. But part of it is also because we want to avoid the shame of being caught stealing. Only thieves would keep the wallet and say, “don’t hate the player; hate the game.”

After all, the only reason we’re told to hate the game is because the game supposedly makes people do something immoral, unethical, or just undesirable. Even if we can’t rationalize or verbalize exactly what.

It’s cowardly.

But what makes this expression cowardly is that it deflects responsibility. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a player or just an observer.

A player who says, “don’t hate the player; hate the game” is obviously implying it’s not their fault they’re doing something unwanted. I’m not talking about those who literally have no choice in playing. But even observers who say this are cowards. Because they all know what they’re seeing is wrong. Why else would they tell us to “hate the game?”

Yet, they all refuse to stand up and just say with conviction that what the players are doing is wrong. They could just say nothing. Instead, they choose to deflect responsibility away from the players who keep the game alive to the game itself. An inanimate, intangible entity that can’t possibly fix itself. What does that accomplish besides perpetuating a game that shouldn’t be played?

Shame the player and the game

A well-run software development team releases high-quality features of high-quality products consistently. That only happens when team members maintain high standards for themselves.

Every member of the team must be wiling to stand up and push for doing what’s right even when deadlines are tight. Even if we need to do unexpected work after the deadline to correct for anything done quickly, but incorrectly. Otherwise, the software will rot.

Society is no different.

If we never stand up for and fight to do what’s right, then we expose ourselves and our world to physical and moral decay. So, if there is a “game” that makes people do unsavoury acts, we need to be courageous and speak out against the players. Because that’s the only way to end the game. That’s how you stop humanity from descending into moral degeneracy.

Shame the player and the game.

Reply to belowthesurfacetop@gmail.com or message me with the button below if you have questions or comments. I’d love the hear from you.

Thank you for reading. Avoid unsavoury games. And I’ll see you in the next one.