Dive 90: How the school system drills imposter syndrome into students
Dive 90: How the school system drills imposter syndrome into students
... and how to fix it.
Hey, it’s Alvin!
For years, I struggled with imposter syndrome. That’s when you believe you’re not good enough to deserve success.
I work as a software developer. But there were times I felt I didn’t deserve to be one. When I looked around me, I saw colleagues who were so much more talented and knowledgeable. There was (and still is) so much to learn in my field. Apparently, I’m not alone.
There are tons of people on the internet giving advice on how to get rid of imposter syndrome. But I think they’re all overcomplicating the issue. Because I realized it’s caused by a single type of question that can invade our minds when we reach a goal:
“How did I do?”
On the surface, that seems like an innocent, reasonable question. But I realized that simply changing the question didn’t just eliminate imposter syndrome, it helped me find a healthier, happier, productive approach to life. But knowing how to change the question means we have to first dive into the real reason we ask it in the first place.
Pressure from the Modern Education System
If you were a kid like me, you probably cared about your grades. Even if you didn’t care, there were probably adults in your life who pressured you to care. And with this, the seeds of imposter syndrome were planted when we were kids.
You’d do your assignments and write your tests. Then, you’d wait with bated breath for the teacher to finish grading your work.
“Did I do well?”
“Did I do poorly?”
“I wonder what grade I’ll get?”
If you were a good student, you were eager to see how much better you did this time around. If you weren’t so good, you crossed your fingers and hoped you passed. Either way, these questions or variations of them would run through your mind. You may have even asked your friends and classmates what grades they think they got.
Many (but not all) students were (and still are) trained to obsess over grades this way. Because adults who also obsessed over grades surrounded and influenced us.
Your parents probably wanted to make sure you did well in school because they wanted to see you succeed in life. Your teachers wanted you to do well because otherwise, parents might give them an earful. School administrators might also punish them because if too many students got poor grades, it would reflect poorly on the school itself. So, there were loads of incentives for ensuring students got good grades.
While mostly well-meaning, this environment quietly injects the question into the back of the minds of many students… “how well did I do?”
We all understand that grades are “important” because they offer a quick glance at a student’s performance. Not only that. But also, the teacher’s, school’s, and education system’s performances. How do parents fit into this picture? The parents are the customers. Because parents pay for their children’s education. So, there’s constant pressure from everyone to know how well each student is doing.
That means the focus—the goal—of modern education is to achieve good grades. Learning is secondary. This core idea forms the foundation of the entire education system. And it filters down to daily school life.
First, you work.
Then, you’re graded.
You work.
Then, you’re graded.
You work.
Then, you’re graded.
And if you still doubt how much modern society obsesses over grades, remember that you get a full list of grades to see how well you did in each subject once or twice a year. The report card. This isn’t even the worst part because the pressure for good grades doesn’t just crush us from the outside…
Pressure from Status
In a grade-obsessed environment, it’s too easy to associate grades with status. The ‘A’ students? They’re treasured by adults. They’re the ones who get the trophies and, eventually, the scholarships.
The ‘Ds’ and ‘Fs’? Those are the failures. The dimwits. Sometimes, the troublemakers.
The ‘Bs’ and ‘Cs’? They’re average. They’re meh. Except, if you look at job postings, you know companies hate “average,” too.
Because grades can be status symbols, kids are further driven to focus on getting good grades when they ought to focus more on learning. Those are not the same goals. Hence, the expression “teaching to the test,” which describes an education system more focused on preparing students for standardized tests than anything else.
“Oh, but what’s the point of tests if you don’t learn anything?”
Kids aren’t learning about a subject as much as they are learning how to ace tests and assignments. There’s even a viral video clip from The Simpsons that pokes fun at teaching to tests. And I was caught up in the madness when I was a kid, too.
I was a nerdy, geeky student. So, with my allowance, I bought a book called, “How to Get Straight A’s In School and Have Fun at the Same Time” because I peaked at ‘As’ but I wanted A-plusses.
We spend 12 years in an education system. And at least a few more in a post-secondary system that works the same way. So, this obsession with grades doesn’t just disappear when we graduate…
Pressure from the Workplace
“Did I do well?”
“Did I do poorly?”
“I wonder how well I did?”
For many of us, these questions continue to hang around at the back of our minds for everything we do. Like bored teens loitering in a shopping mall.
Of course, you could ask your boss how well you’re doing. But the answer never satisfies. Eventually, the self-doubt returns. And when we doubt ourselves enough, we question whether we deserve to be doing what we’re doing.
This is imposter syndrome.
The reason the answer never satisfies is that our doubts don’t come from not knowing how well we’re doing. Our doubts come from the questions themselves…
“Did I do well?”
“Did I do poorly?”
“I wonder how well I did?”
And the questions came from an unproductive frame of mind that the modern education system drills into us from when we were kids. So, are we doomed as adults? Of course not.
Changing the Question
Last time, I talked about how “flipping the frame” can help us better understand the world. I found that flipping this frame of mind developed within me a healthier, more productive approach to life that also built my confidence. Instead of asking yourself, “did I do well (or poorly)?” Ask yourself:
“How can I do better?”
Here’s why this works:
“Did I do well” is the question many of us ask ourselves out of (bad) habit. It’s an unproductive question because it assumes a false dichotomy. The answer assumes you either did well or you didn’t. But that’s almost never the case.
No matter what you do, there will almost always be some aspect you did well and some aspect you didn’t. So, the question is pointless. It’s also an assessment-style question.
“How can I do better” is a learning-style question. It focuses your attention on practical ways to improve and away from assessing how you compare to those around you. Because it’s not healthy to compare yourself to others, anyway.
Schools do a poor job of teaching kids to ask learning-style questions because modern education de-emphasizes learning in favour of assessments. I’m not saying schools aren’t about learning at all. I’m just saying they’re too obsessed with grades.
So, the next time you feel imposter syndrome creeping in, shift your focus away from assessment-style questions to more productive, learning-style questions. Ask yourself,
“How can I do better?”
A couple of years ago, I shared some other tips that help reduce imposter syndrome that pair well with this question. Be sure to check out that dive for more.
Feel free to email me at belowthesurfacetop@gmail.com or click “Message Alvin” below if you have questions or comments. I’d love the hear from you.
Thank you for reading. Ask, “how can I do better?” And I’ll see you in the next one.