Dive 86: The temple is not a cigarette
Hey, it’s Alvin!
When I was 10 years old, my friend Brian and I joined a super secret school club. How did we find out about the club? Well, one day during recess after lunch, I asked Brian where our other friend, Corey, was. And Brian said that Corey was in our school’s secret club. It was club he attended once a week during lunch recess.
Of course, I wanted in. So, I asked Corey if Brian and I could join too. Somehow, Corey pulled some strings with the school vice principal in charge of the club, and we got in. I guess it’s true when they say, “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”
It turns out it was a typing club. About 10 students sat in our school’s computer lab every week during lunch recess to learn touch typing with a software called JumpStart Typing. Keep in mind that this was back when personal computers were rare in households. So, most kids our age weren’t learning how to type on keyboards at all.
JumpStart Typing was a game that let you practice typing. But it also featured timed typing tests. If you hit the word-per-minute goal of the test, the game would give you the option to level up. Levelling up meant the tests got harder. Earlier tests focused more on words around the home row, which are easiest to reach. While later tests involved typing words with less common letters like, ‘Q’, and ‘Z’.
Brian and I levelled up fast enough that we started failing to meet the test goal for the level we were on. What’s the problem with that? There was a rumour that if we failed to meet the test goal too often, we’d be kicked out of the club. Harsh.
We didn’t want to get kicked out. So, we asked to have our accounts reset. We started over. But this time, we levelled up only to where we were confident that we could pass the test. We spent the rest of our time “practicing” to type the same words and sentences over and over in the mini games.
We didn’t get kicked out of the secret club. But our typing skills also didn’t improve further. We plateaued.
This experience offered a couple of valuable lessons.
First, it’s life’s challenges that give us opportunities to grow. We don’t grow within our comfort zones. But everyone knows that. What caught my attention is that sometimes we make excuses to stay in our comfort zones. One of the most common excuses is: “I’m not ready (to go out).”
For what it’s worth, I have no problems with comfort zones. Rest and recovery are critical to growth, too. Those are legitimate reasons to be in a comfort zone. But when we have to make excuses to stay in one, then maybe we shouldn’t be there. Some self-awareness helps.
Here’s what I mean…
Meditations
I have friends and family members who meditate regularly.
Some meditate in their bedroom every day.
Some mediate at a temple every week.
Others meditate at a meditation retreat every month.
When it’s time to meditate, they retreat to a place designated and designed for meditation.
On the surface, this makes perfect sense. What better place to meditate than in the solitude of your own bedroom, the peace of a temple, or the tranquillity of a mountaintop?
But let’s think deeper, here. Meditation is a way to achieve INNER peace. Why?
It’s so that no matter where we are or what troubles we have, we can turn inward to find peace within ourselves. And I find it’s not so much about “achieving” or “finding” it, but creating inner peace.
Creation of anything takes skill. Skills sharpen with practice. But if we want skills that work in the real world, we must practice in real-world conditions. It’s why you can’t just study coding or do tutorials to improve at software development. You must make software people will use.
There’s nothing wrong with going to a place of calm to learn meditation. But there are those whose reflexive reaction is to retreat to their special place when life isn’t going so well.
That’s not inner peace. That’s outer peace.
It’s a crutch.
And it stems from a habit based on the same excuse that cigarette smokers use. But instead of,
“I’m stressed; I’m going out for a smoke.” It’s,
“I’m stressed; I’m going to the temple to meditate.”
Yes, cigarettes are much more physically harmful. That’s not the point.
The temple is not a cigarette.
The temple is not meant to be a lifelong security blanket. It’s a place to learn the fundamentals of meditation. But those lessons must be applied to real-world challenges beyond the walls of the temple. That’s the only way to improve.
I truly believe that a beautiful life can only be cultivated through time and effort. It isn’t so much dependent on where you live but how. The hardest lesson I have ever learned is that happiness isn’t a location.
- Paola Merrill in The Cottage Fairy Companion
If a person makes a habit of returning to a designated place to meditate, then they miss out on the opportunities to practice meditation where they need it most. It means they’re never able to hone their skill of creating inner peace anywhere else. The goal is not just about being present at the meditation retreat. The goal is to be present every day of your life.
If all you ever do is lift 10-pound dumbbells for 5 years, you’ll get stronger initially. But you’ll plateau real soon. The only way to get stronger is to increase the weight.
That’s why when my friends and I “practiced” typing the same words over and over again, we didn’t get better. We only improved when we challenged ourselves with timed typing tests.
Remember:
The temple is not a cigarette.
We all have a place where we learned a new skill and started honing it. But it’s important to remember that at some point, you need to move on. You need to find other places to apply your skill in new and challenging ways if you want to improve it. Because your skills only improve when they’re challenged.
Reply to belowthesurfacetop@gmail.com or click “Message Alvin” below if you have questions or comments. I’d love the hear from you.
Thank you for reading. Challenge your skills. And I’ll see you in the next one.